.Winter story.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

okie, 24th christmas eve, woke up and rush over to boon lay , suppose to reach 2.30pm, but late for awhile, sorry. went for a meaningful session at city havest church at jurong for a chirstmas skit play, watched and find it nice , funnny and professional. But some how the message is to say that this christmas, "give" and love, alright i like it weird but which is true , you are there and is living such a good life better than others so we must give or help in which we can do. after which went over to amk to meet great friends. they wanted to watch the legend, i rush over and find out that all of them had a partner and i don't, but i don wish to sit alone so i bought 2 tickets feeel so sad, asked people to accompany me, but some hwo can't find , but i remembered i called her, lin but sadly she's still with.... and i think somehow the whole relationship of me and her has changed. life is like that. so nvm , decided to sit alone on that couple sit. but sean wee decided to come so i got a partner but after awhile quan man wants to watch , so i though of going shannnon's house to celebrate so just nice everyones' happy , so i didn't watch and went over to shannon's house, wanted to take cab , cos the time is 12 plus but great friends ssay still got train so took train over and ask chun fu and people to waited, reach and saw winnie and she say Oh they lefted only left me and you and we need to wait for fishy, so after fishy came went over to my house and i bathed, and went over to express 2000 find chun fu and people. serious feel so sad, when people seems to pin high hope on me and sometimes even press things on me and say that i'm at fault indireactly. especially those people that i cherish and really take as great people in my life. okie , life is getting more and more sad for me . after that went over to shannon's hosue and i started mixing the alcohols and while i'm trying taste, my face turned so red while every's laughing at me. sometimes i just like that yes i know so much and i need to take care of myself, but don know why sometimes i seriously feel like being a normal person that don know anything and don held any respondsibility , this word hit and make my back so heavy. had some rest and fall asleep, didn't really get a good rest.

In the morning , almost everyone looks drank, HPT drank spirit !:) then went out to eat at thomsom area, and went straight to colin's house to have our mah jong session , what the hell ,damn tired la. then played, had much fun , his house got so many hamster and makes me think back of my white hamster, i was so afriad that it will pass away so i gave to someone , cause i don't wish to see it pass away and i think i can't take care of it proberly. I remembered when i am out , i scare it will be bored, i pack my room and put it in there to play, run around the room and i place food around for it to eat and drink. after which went home , and was so damn tired, fall asleep once after bath when reach home.

then was waiting joo tat to call, then finally he called so went over to cherlyn's house and gave liting a birthday surprise, okie, i think she's darn lucky that people give her surprisealmost every year, i feel that surprise is the best present you can ever received, it takes time and your heart to plan. joo tat sang happy birthday song with the guitar which is sweet. and bought her a camera. bian and kelly , joo tat and li ting , they are all so sweet when can i have such sweet relationship.

after that went home.

Wednesday, 26th , sleep and rest around at home and went to express to meet martin ,marc, shuai hui and jia hao. saw jia hao's dog which is cute ! then meet yong jie and sebas and went over to zouk. talked about those gambling stuffs , how people lose and died, and how people win and become rich. and seriously each time i go club , i realise this thing , without money , you're an ass. and i don't know why i'm changing and becoming to face the stupid fact , and i just feel tthat i am going to change to a bad guy soon. there's no force stopping me.

thursday went out to work for the car plate thingy and went shopping , bought my 6th jacket in Zara and my first fourskin t-shirt, the KOPI-O t-shirt . finally manage to get myself something instead of the past where , i buy cookies, buy this buy that for a girl that hurt me so much. i finally realise , first person to love is yourself. And thats why My EQ is getting lower, i don care how people feel as long as i get myself save and happy. It's you guys that took me for granted that cause me to become such a person , i use to be nice and think of how you guys feel, but haha you all never even think for me and how i feel why must i think for you all ??? how? how ? how ?

The end, i still cherish the relationship and trying hard to feel for you guys and make you all happy, but each day pass, i am getting more tired and i am getting more self-centered, because you guys are selffish and only think for yourself or people that you all think worth to ? so i am an asshole that don contribute and lousy person to your life ? fine bye , bye don't be hypocrite infront of me and haha any help, i would think twice and see if i should.

Love Stories ... 11:45 AM

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Alright , went for HPt wanted to leave on the third day for cypher bbq, but was held with one task to plan the Nyctophobia in the night , sorry that i can't attend the bbq , really sorry. erm, forget what i did the pervious day before camp le.

so the first day of camp, was late cos really overslept:)ran over to schooling, look around , walk around chat around then was promoted to the so called senior grads with 2 strip on the shirt. went over to have the hpt philosophy then followed by our mentoring session. at this point in time finally i can understand the mentoring more clearly while in the past i don't even understand a single thing. then it comes the lunch finally !, was darn hungry !!
after that was the rope keeping session and the belay school, where i found out that we really need to refresh what we have learn, all's rusty ! wei quan corrected some of the mistake. sijie great you accepted your mistakes !! and change to the better one ! great you've grow lots !

after which dinner and then cheering module, winnie hosted, joanna came back, :) she is so pretty , what a big change ! then was again chatting with chun fu first and talking about problems and things happening , then clement joined in so we bought up some issues and talked about my problem that people don't respect and now it snowballs to other areas , such as my confident level to lead.. after supper and refresh for belay school for grads, went home to sleep and did some work. and why i went home was really that i still feel so weird staying in hpt anymore, sad . my passion is there but the team work and togetherness of the grads are not there. and i seriously still feel so lonely and away from my "friends", everyone's changing ! so much and my relationship with them is changing too. i cherish you guys , i swear i love you guys ! when i don 't contact you guys, dosen't mean i forget you guys or take you guys for granted and don't care.My life is hectic and working so hard to get through everything. finally comes the christmas period , i am not working !at all cos i want some rest and catch up with my friends, we've been through so many things together ! really you guys are part of my life. and it's an important part !

so the second day went to trim or can say that cut my messy hair, then bought coke , one carton which is so heavy and went back to school. so after which ate the dinner and pei wei quan to the mac at the garden , so he had his breakfast and we chatted. went over for tree of excellence and saw things going well and venessa came, an old friend:) tuition partner. went back to school, had camp fire module, happy session then debrief, wanted to go home but wishh to give myself this last chance to see if i still belongs here. stay and can't sleep through the night, so chatted with wq , eve and phebe. suddenly winnie came over and said please go out and talk if you want , others wants to sleep. i don't know why although it's all of of us that is chatting but i just feel that eevrything is my fault, haiz i am getting this phobia of helping myself to voice out, i'll just give in.
i am so lack of confident to do things for myself anymore. from all the incident in life. adventure camp 2007, love 2007 and so many many small small things.

so many things, and third day, nyctophobia, seems like no one understands me and or even try to understand me anymore. i will continue again , need some sleep at this point , not thinking and phasing my sentence correctly anymore.

Love Stories ... 3:02 AM

Monday, December 10, 2007

My EQ level has drop, i have become less sensative to how people feels. is this good or bad? i shall discuss tonight !

Love Stories ... 11:01 PM

Yay, i don't girls to survive but if i can have one, a sweet looking, smart and romantic girl is all i need:) so this 7th to 24th, would not be my love weeks :) unless i really found my love in this weeks.

time to upload some pictures of my life:)

Love Stories ... 7:47 AM

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Okayed, last Friday I went for cypher interview for the student leaders, and I was one of the interviewers and most of them said that I am fierce, it's time to move on to be serious in life. we had meeting after the interview, i actually feel that people are weird. they know that they are coming for interview but did not get ready of what they would be asked, gave me stupid answers. !!! After which went for meeting , alright i guess the camp had to be improve lots more and i don't think it would catch on the timing. i won't help unless you guys ask for, you guys need to learn from the hard lessons too.

Then went bugis to look for great friends because of sean's birthday ! but wth they went off to gaylang ! without informing me, but nvm , i still love you guys ! After that since i am not meeting great friends , i get to meet yong jie earlier so we went for club at zouk, a fashion show by Flash imp most of the apparels brough up were not that updated. like skinnies and etc... and now then i realise that lyyod the winner of the hey gorgeous champion is yong jie 's brother....lolx. so chatted with this long time friend was a good night , after which went back to have some fun , was at zouk dancing but idon't like the songs there and the people.. lol so went over to phuture to look for shirley, then dance around but wth , so cramp la !! no place to dance , kana squeeze here and there, lol then saw teng long, huang yong and his gang la.lol erm alright clubs are indeed dirty.lolx
Saturday, slept at 5 am and wake up at 7 :( sad went over to ford, daddy fetch me over to queensway Ford show room ate BK wit fabian thEN went for work. saw medy , whoot she is very good :) meet our partner Aimin, so chat around and work . Quite slack anw , just sit there enter some data, then chat chat and write write , lolx simply to coordinate the test drive for the customers. after work went over to amk with fabian to meet kelly then went sumo house to eat , after which bian and kelly went movie and i was too tired, so went home, online for 10mins on the sofa, wahah i fall asleep . half way of my sleep i wake up and my leg cramp !!! wth damn painful experience and it last for 10mins. after that went back to sleep.

Sunday ford. test drive, this comes the fun day , i was very awake so went around , ate bk for breakfast cause it's nice , lunch took subway , haha and there was this sale girl , me and aimin was thinking how old is she and bet for a free lunch , but don't dare to ask , just know that she is around 30s aimin guess around 29 and me around 33, :) don't judge a book by a cover:) as she make up and looks young do not means she is young. this comes the exciting part , i'm the coordinator so i know when the people will come down to get the car , i on the engine and started playing with it !! I drove the latest car in Ford which is power, the 7 sitter’s-max and the mondeos!! Ha-ha learnt how to park and every thing. I’m potential in driving. : P after which decided to go shopping! So I brought this pants which is really stupid la! Sad damn colorful and looks like a boxer, I wore it to school and it looks funny, whoa! Don’t care, I like it Okayed le, finally my photos are upped,

Love Stories ... 8:49 AM

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Went to school on my daddy's bike, thinking about the Cars again! remembering car plates ! reached school , facing new challenage ! thanks daddy for fetching me almost every morning ! i'm lazy i admit ! sorry to trouble you !

After school went off with rulan , raziah, JJ, karen,elson and myself, took bus as it was raining and ..... 6 of us squeezed at the most back seats, but it's nice to feel warm and also the bond within us.

5th dec 2007 officially saying byebye to our danny big boy ! went to watch the last movie with him before him getting fitter in army. golden compass , the relationships touched me, the king of the polar bears, my fav character in the show i feels.

After so many months, and years, 7th of the last month still comes back and it's really near, how am i going to spend this 7th this year, god will show me.

at this moment, flash back to 3 years ago, everything started so fast and ended so fast like a dream. the things we've done, the dreams that we've have made true. The things and space that is still in my house, i'm thinking about you right now. I hate you ! u stole my Consciences, my pride, my love life! Being stupid and tell myself if ever i have a chance to get you back , i will ! putting down my pride telling my friends that i still love you !, destroying my love life day by day, waiting for a love that will never come back.

3 years ago, i Said my heart is yours. 2 years ago i asked you if you still want my heart. one year ago, i'm dreaming about you and me holding each other's hand, walking down the snowing city in Chitose.
And this year i try so hard to forget you but i got hurt more! and now 7th dec is near , that stupid feelings came back, it's as strong as 3 years ago! No!, this time i want a new love life !!

Bare with me, i need to find my courage to love again. Support me.

Love Stories ... 11:12 AM

last ... forget when, went to sentosa with andrew , and alot more people, played volleyball and watched rugby volleyball and floor ball competitions. haha played beach volleyball and had fun and i really like that feelings when i can release what ever stress i have, and also the fun level that can reach for me.

On 1st dec went to had a welfare with danny as he is going army soon ! big boy le !:P So we went to THE ONE. i sang some song and told quan man ! HEY i had never try how a drunken men feel like !! so today i will try !!! HELP ME AND take care of me later whe i am drunk ! And indeed i am drunk ! and haha my alcohol management level was not that good:) anw , i got drunk so fast within an hour and it is because i ate the top shell which is damn !! spicy !!!. hence i took the alcohol as plain water and drink and drink and drink !! haha

I vomitted like an idiot and can't even walk proberly ! haha DRUNKEN PIN WEN !! so after which kelly send me home and i bump onto my bed and fall asleep ! the next day i wake up !! WTH hang over !! headache and damn !! headache !

4th dec , went to ps to have a treat from andrew because of some reason !,!! pay ! haha we went cafe cartel ! and had my desire st.louis pork ribs, while jie rui had the dory fish, lian xin with crispy pork chop, wen jie have the sirlon steak while me and andrew had st.louis pork ribs which is hugE !! hahaa damn full after eating everything ! because the girl pass around the food ! and we had to eat more. !!

after which went and walk around and spotlight seriously have many many things!! lolx. So random !

7th DEC !! is coming ! What would happen this year?? !! i 'm awaiting !

Love Stories ... 12:31 AM

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Love Stories ... 6:51 PM