.Winter story.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

I'm seriously busy everyday, working , meeting up with friends, take care daddy. be prepare for camp. i'm so scare now, after 4 more hours, i'll be going camp and i am packing now :( anw hope it will be a success, although 3 days is not long but it makes a diference in people's life, i'll do my best.

Friday went to cypher camp. , lili, dota, saturday, kai le house, kellyhouse, nicholas, work, officially paid to look at girls.. lolx. Andree's birthday , saw Ruru, taiwan, sunday , nick is late, . release early, went eat with the girls. then home to sleep, eat with daddy and now packing bag,

all short cut, come back got time then blog !!:P

Friends don't miss if yes, tag more !! haha

back at thursday . monday , left home.

Love Stories ... 10:48 AM

Monday, October 22, 2007

I guess i'm wrong this time, but i'll not say a single sorry. it's pointless. people would just take this sorry as a joke i planned to make everyone laugh.

when i'm in hpt, i'm just a lousy grads that no one respects. When i'm seriously contributing , humans thinks that i'm weird. when i am lost, no one even care to help me out. My effort going back camp almost everyday after school, while holding the duty to take care of my daddy and looking for source for survivors all went into the drain. This is the first time i felt so demoralised and lost in a camp. I had never feel like this before. I don know where i'm standing to scold the students, because you guys don't even respect me , how am i going to gain respects from students, maybe for this i should be the one scolded by the students. On top of that , i was lectured when i'm trying to help and having my precious meal. I'm so pissed at that poitn of time , but i felt like crying , the words come straight in my face. It's so hurt to be losing face infront of so many people, to protect and help myself, i can't control anymore.

I'm alone most of the time without anyone sideing me or protecting, hence i need o protect myself. It hurts to see people having happy families and having fun while i felt so lonely.

I'll stopped here.
what i want to say.
God, Hope this group of people will contiuned to be happy and safe.

I'll live my life with less happiness.
Our memories has gone into the history lanes.
Hpt will never sense my presences anymore.

Love Stories ... 12:22 PM

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Alright , blogging time. Now i have more phobia of girls. They have mood swings and changed so fast. Please control. everyone is stress and everyone is pissed. Don't thinkk that i am good and throw all your angers on me. I don't accept. Life's busy. LAst week monday, 15oct. Camp started and i decided to Pon cause i am not sure if this is the last camp for ... so i must not miss this event.

On monday we had water activity as tuesday we will not have any KI "kayaking instructor" so was playing around and the feeling is totally different from using a T1. first group that came was fine but second group make me damn angry and pissed !!... please , i know you are good but please don't over take people's positions , you have lot more to learn. i may not be very good but i have see more things than you. i can always lose you as a friend to let you learn. went into water, with second group. paddled around and came to a place to play some game on the kayaks. What, paddles all around the water and i was around to retrive it. It's not a funny matter. So decided to make them own me 50 push up which i don't really like people to be doing push ups. " the meaning behind it. when you lose your paddles when you are having fun , so when you are taking groups and having fun , one member go missing, you don't care? till you need that person to have full attandences?

On tuesday,morning went out to place all the rafting equipments at the specific location , i heard that it was all taken away by a uncle but lucky shannon manage to retrive it. had my Ut and went home to rest.

and wednesday my dad was discharged. i did not went to school
I went back to camp with wen jie.went to cck to take cab and in lot 1 i saw sister, kelly. reached camp side , rest awhile and had dinner. had night walk and was like Omg , we walked into a military when they are having trainings . the tanks are Huge and nice !! The officers are around to guard their training grounds so we contiuned our night walk while not disturbing their trainings.then the MRS , yanyi and chun kit was so stressed up for their camp fire, i wanted to help but some hwo i feel that i am not that good and seriously my confident level is going down because of all you guys !!! so decided to ask chun fu , or wen jie to help . After which Chun fu had the debrief with them , jia you ! you are "AT" now , i know you need ot care about what people thinks but also have that courage to do what is right.

On thursday went out in the morning for science UT and school after presenting , my faci allow me to leave, but i remember i am waiting for wilson so i decided to stay in class to wait. WTH in the end zhang mei and wilson both pang seh me ???? i waited so long and i was like a fucking fool going into camp so late and alone. NvM this only teach me something , don't ever trust anyone for own benefits are more important. went back and have dinner then prepared camp fire, i suddenly just feel that i am in the wrong place and everything is wrong for me , i shouldn't be going back to camp. i am a wondering ghost and everyone seems to see me as invi till they need me . and while having dinner , i am serious pissed la ! thats why i throw out everything that i have been storing. firstly i apologies for that sudden cut off of the conversation of you and students, now i will say why am i so angry . When having training camps, i helped abit in logs and see how you guys are doing, i know la i only have been once a logs, the rest have more experience , but somehow i still remember some of the things that we need to do as logs. i helped but some how you just aiya.... aiya.... heck cared, even moving the tables, come on la !!! it's shannon and not me alright i don't need to ren all your anger and please learn how to manage your angers and emotions. Shannon is the one making you angry so when i try to help and giving some comments , don't come and give me a bad face. when i am angry with someone else do i give you black face? then comes to either lunch or dinner i forget , when i asked if there is anythign not done, you again aiya.. like i am joking and not helping and you think i am nagging at you. come on la i see you as my friend then i decides to ask you those questions la , if you are someone else , i will go enjoy myself instead of going to the canteen to help...you walk off and lucky vanessa stayed to listen , do you know how i feel? it looks like i am a fucking lousy grads that no one wants to listens to. i know you guys are stress la, having so many things to do. but please ... control and work things out instead of complaining about anything. and from this lesson again i learn something ,Don't be KPO even it's friends, wait till they need help then they will seek help from you . and after you helped , don't KPO go and help the other things.

Suddenly i just realise why so many people are not going back HPT , simple , they don't get their repects and when they go back to contribute, no one appreciate only those that are doing great jobs and big things are appreciated. small small things counts alright . i guess i seriously don't feel like going back to HPt anymore. Although i love it and so memories are form there but sme how i am not appreciated. ='(

Friday went back to school study culture and talked about Mean Words, Exclusion, & Divisions, like how people actually Discriminate another. after which went to wait for Andrew to watch and support their floorball match. girls>> RP lost to Nyp, guys >> NYp Lost to Rp. .... 5-3 and andrew got red card for banging the board. ... lame .. lolx i was the target that they throw temper on again cos i'm from rp, lolx alright at least they are joking , they smiled... tat was good , cos he didn't complain all the way but also asked for comments on what he had done wrong and how he can improve, that was omg , great abd good. sometimes people outside are just better than Hpt in terms of thinkings. i think Hpt people need to grow up with their thinkings. don't grow only when there is a camp or what but in daily life , learn what are the correct values.

so today, saturday i wake up at 5 plus and went out to buy dinner for daddy and bet on soccer, small bet la, to support my favourite team MAN U !!! then went home changed and meet wee seng and nick to go meet the rest of the great friends , saw billy at esplande, our friendship had drifted... but i still feel that it's worth it cause that guy are not worth to be forgived. then went home after that. just finish playing dota so decided to blog. 12 min, MAN U ...lost 1-0 to aston i feel so sad but haha in the end won 4-1 !! alright , end here. sleeping .

4.49 am . sign off, good nites :)
take care friends.

Love Stories ... 12:55 PM

Saturday, October 13, 2007

WEt chickens z!! whahaha FUN !!!! great !!

LOxl, these are the show girls, the models ! whaha hot right. but i'm not attracted lehz.:P

LIZ , ASHLEY AND ME , hahah

haha, ALL FUNNY LOOKS . DAMN FUN!

ARhhgg,, i look so white , need to tan up soon !! sucks to look white , lolx

Lolx, alright start from

Wednesday 10th oct 2007 !~! hahaa And special request FROM XUAN WEI ! lolx that i will start having paragragh cos too wordy le :) Sorry la ! wahha my english not that good ! and essay need to paragragh also gave back to secondary school teacher already ! wahaha.

Anw, wednesday, went to school , wahah i love my classmates so much , they are there to support me ,! :) aw, cant forget to say thanks to rulan ! whaha she will prepare tissue for me every morning if i am same group as her , and ! ha she wrote me a word document to cheer me up, indeed it helped me !! waahah. cant forget , the other classmates, ahmad, ahziem , and everyone else , i love you guys !. erm had my enterprise lesson. wahaha , i lefted early cos i have work so asked faci for approver so she of cos approve la ! i so cute lolx. BHB !! whaha after which asked about my Rj that i cant summit by 12, so ask her if i can summit after that anot, alright again she approve !:) so wrote a very personal RJ , my assets and liabilities so , lolx i have more than $1000 of debt not including the laptop ! $ 2000 , haha alright , don't worry things are getting fine and i moving towards success ! wahaha those friends that's not willing to stand by me and help , whahaha bye ! you go. After which went to work , at marina mandarin, then listen to some briefing by ashley then went to eat.

Wah kao , damn suay , when was going to eat , i choosed LJS, long john sliver , but joo tat wanted to eat KFC so went over and show , !!! the SUCKS couple ! and so i told them , i am not going to eat here. so they were like okie lor. but !@ whaha i changed my decision so i stayed !! Don't care them . they are just simple some stupid people in my life. so after which went back to work.

Me, Riley, Andrew and Tat and Yu guang are machines !! haha Packed 1000 goodie bags for canons customers ! whaha it's tired, but fun ! then went home , rushed for last train, went home and sleep at 3 plus , stupid la ! but cos i studied for my UT , so 6+ went out reach school at 8++ , lolx and rested , play Cs with jia jun's lappy, took my Ut and meet up with the bastard which i really don't want and took cab to work. so , Andrew , Joo tat , Riley and Yu guang was in-charge ,me and bastard is not cos we cant reach on time cos of our UT.

Nvm so we started do SAI KANG !! wahaha , pick up some rubbish and walk around chat chat with friends and show girls... anw , The bastard is just flirt la, even with GF !~!! I was send to guard lOLx the back where everyone ate their food la. stupid enough , Chew lian, the ah lian lolx jk la, one of the show girl bullied me and ask me pour drinks for her , and must hold the drink for her ,lolx i do so la, cos she is the only one that can entertain me. lolx the rest not as joker as me ma. At nights, lolx every had walkie talkie , so we started playing with it. lolx OPerations . 1 , OYSTEr, don know hwo to spell la !! wahha we wanted to eat the buffet oyster but cant cos many ppl looking and some one cleared away !! wah !!! arghhh.lolx anw , we went home la ,after sometime.

It comes to last day of program, friday !!. WAhaha the high light of the 2 days. we were all given walkie talkie and with that walkie talkie , i ask all the KA kia , lolx to help me when i need to carry something or pack some thing , so what i did is to use my brain , wahaha. anw, every one was choosing which show is pretty , mine is belinda la !!, but she 23 ! damn so old ! whaha . anw saw this resigntration de girl , was not bad, la , although not very pretty but she .lolx dian me sia. but in the end i say le , i won't take any steps to know you, so you have to take that !! lolx first step :) Not fated, nvm , anw, Wah kao pack goodie bags through out 3 days and today have to pack agian !! Anw , never mind this time is with KA KIAS !! haahaha so was damn slack la.lolx anw , good to follow procon , get to see those damn rish ppl and see how they behave... HOW lian only !lolx. some la, can't stigma this entire group of ppl , lolx, stigma, a new word. ! maybe i used wrongly ,

lolx at night , wah kao !! this part is really !! damn it , A customer cant drink that much and drink THAT much and drank like a dead person , cant even move, or maybe he has fallen asleep, lolx and he is A fat ass !!! needed 4 people to carry him up, joo tat, Yu guang, me and andrew ! Melvin , !!!! and Riley didn't help cos that guy is vommiting and damn smelly and diguesting, from this we can see , that thay are not willing to go through things together. anw, that guy is super heavy !! i tell you !! lolx i was holding his back to let him sit striaght but too tired so pass over to Joo tat and i was holding the head, even head is so heavy !! fuck !lolx then at one point of time , cos Yu guang was holding the plastic bag for his thrown outs. ! lolx vommit de things.lolx and !!! Yu guang tot he is not vomminting anymore so he put down the bag and !!!!!! suddenly he thrown !!! i was scared like shit coming out !! hahaha his head is direactly infront of my private part SO OBSEnce !lolx!! lolx !! alright and lucky Yu guang is fast enough to get the bag up in time or i am going to fuck Yu guang upside down !! wahaha after which , the canon company decided to take on their account and book a room for him ! damn lucky la he !! the place is damn nice, lolx so after which !, last part ! haha anw HAHAA Andrew is damn pissed off by melvin.lolx the bastard as i say . even ..........._______ haha not going to say who, also say that you are so bad, ! haha and agreed with me , what else you want to say to cover yourself?

Went to the garden of marina mandarin and rest and ate foods from buffet and what !! lolx, i was carried up and thrown into the swimming pool ! wah kao !! lucky this time i clever ask them to take out my phone first !, wah memories flash back, my K800i ericsson spoiled because of my Sem 1 classmate puching me into the pool with the phone , loxl why i'm the vitim always... lolx never , was fun after which , everyone 's thrown down include LIZ and Ashley , our boss ! whahaa was so fun , but mandie and Eugenia was not thrown down .lolx they not so close with us la and so fierce la, the eugenia, actually quite attractive but she too naggy and looks are fierce, haha all guys ran away.lolx anw, now Ashley's talking to me And lolx, ask all the boys to add her and liz in msn and friendster, one of the reason , cos Can find all the girls that we are intrested ! lolx , GOOD !! lolx then i show the pics la , don want to type liao ,fingers are tired. loxl !

Bye , procon is good and fun ! events pls call us . !! haha take care guys !! all my friends , i love you all !! wahhaa.

Love Stories ... 12:32 PM

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Sunday, can't sleep so actually talked to Hui xin till morning and went to have breakfast with her at CWP mac. went to school and started lessons. Was damn tired, but can't sleep have to at least help the group abit so do so much research.... BUT !! FUCk !! the first time that i am angry with my team mates !! i gave her everything but soem how she presented everything by herself and covered the whole , entire presentation herself without even giving us some chance to talk !! fuck !!! i 'm seriously first timed so pissed off. so i stood there without saying anything , even my slides i gave it to someone else. And for that fucking first time that i am complaining in my RJ !After which , went straight home and seriously wanted to visit my dad, but sorry daddy , too tired le, so fell asleep at home. the, tuesday did not go school. went to help daddy pay road tax, $37, after which went to visit daddy. before that meet up with lian xin and andrew, haiz, i suddenly feel that i don't want to ask help from them anymore. after which went to town to walk walk alone , then called billy , Woot , and went K-box with him and Ruth, then saw regina !! working at K-box.. lolx. so manage to get special previllage that we could sing till 3am, the k-box close. Bought cake, and gave billy a lousy and small surprise , but hope you like it, it's your birthday, no matter how much i'll need to spend, i'll. you helped me so much when i needed that help. you are there, my brother. ! but for what ur third wish is, sorry, i can't help you fullfill it. i know you want me and melvin to be good friends again , sorry i'll still insist that i'll never be friend with a bastard. Promised. Alright , i just feel that si hong is lucky, didn't choose such a boyfriend like me cause eventually if we are together , i'll break up with you , due to such situation taht i'm *uniceffacing , haha maybe you will break up with me first , casue i believe taht you wouldn't want to face this with me . for those that do not know what i am facing now. i will say it here.

Currently my dad is in the hospital , having some major operation, hopefully he is recovering now. My finacial states now is ... sucks. i have only around 50 bucks on my pocket now. my Mrt
concession is upped on 13th oct. My phone bills are coming after me. A lawyer fees of $700 included payments need to be made before 22nd oct . i've just paid my internet bills. Everyday after school, i need visit my daddy, i am not complaining cause he is the only one that i should love. after visiting him , need to rush home to wash cloths , to homework, rj, feed my fish eat. And seriously looking for a job now, and working almost everyday if i could. everyday , i can't sleep worrying if i forget to do anything. Some times i am wandering , is this a learning experience cause god wants me to learn soemthing out of here>? Or is it that i will be in this way forever or did i did something wrong that i should be treat this way ? broken family. Broken love relationships, always get cheated when i'm so loyal to soemone. Am i too naive ? Sorry guys if i am not replying you in Msn or phone cause seriously if you know about my states now, i seriously don't know how nd whats the mood that i should that i will reply.And if you guys are angry with me , go ahead, after knowing about this fucker called melvin, seriously i don't care if you are angry or fuck, cos unless i cherish or you cherish the relationship we have, i'll see you as the next melvin so to keep myself conscience. I don't need you guys to pity cause i 'll solve everything by myself.

seriously to say , i have phobias on girls now. which ever girl that comes into my life. i'll do my part to test what you actually want and promise that , unless you take your steps first or you attracts me, i'll not take the next step to go after you. for friends , if you really treat me as friend like MELVIN. Simple to say, please don't be one of my friends, casue i have nothing for you to cheat on , i don't have money, i don't have car, i don't have girlfriends, i don't have sister or brothers, i don't have anything for you to cheat on. if you want girls, go look for melvin , he has lots of it. well:) fuck off for such friend!

Well, for real friends, take care of your self, after i solve my problems , i will get back to you guys and we shall have fun and enjoy he every moment taht we spend ! :P :)

Love Stories ... 1:00 PM

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Friday, went to school and saw that the siao ? lolx flower and grass the tv show is coming, super lame. then went to class and actually told my class mates about my stories. that day's lesson was about calture where by how people value things. presented and actually wanted to tears out myself and wanted to create that mood fr the class but not confident enough hence, no one cried:). So all of us presented very fast as we wanted to catch the show at 4 at agora stage. Packed our things and went down. Omg , the stage is like Filled with pool of people ! so trey our way into and nearer to the stage cos i cant see anything , lolx short sighted. So after they started and we see, Lolx okie la maybe they not really pretty and handsome but some how !! lol they have talents !!lolx. cat walking is also talent ! LOlx.... alrigth so watched, and saw the winnings, after which they wanted to take photos with ME LU BIN ! so no one dare to approach, so i wave and give them hand signals haha,.and he say ok! wait Lol, i don even know them la...after photo, so went to see my dad. after which meet up with kenneth they all, kelvin, melissa , benedict and shi min , loxl was talking about funny porns. lolx after which went to Zhi yong house for mah jong session , lolx share with tat, lost 8 dollars , notbad la . almost we lost all, heng i won one 5 dai ownself game one.lolx.then tat also got one 4 dai ownself game.lolx so went home sleep. wake up and went to see daddy again. after which went The one with grea friends, !rocks !! damn fun and nice, haha i almost drank la ! cos i ate the top shell , damn spicy ! and i drank the martel and kilkenny like plain water...lolx, wth lor ,.so sang many songs, memories all came back. After all was nice and happy !!:P i love great friends !

Love Stories ... 11:06 PM

Monday, October 01, 2007

Monday, 1st october, i told myself , no matter what i have to go school but ?? i seriously got no motivations to go to school, =( i've lost all my self and soul. so i went back to sleep, suddenly, macus called me and ask me if i wanna work, since i didn't go to school, i must at least i must do something to make myself filled for the day, i got no time to waste, so i went to work. Sorry macus but i went to buy toto for my dad before i report to work. I have to fullfill everythings he want. afterwhich , reached and started doing things, so many things that they are throwing andwe are like wah, the place is so small , so when they throw the things, and if there are anythings good, i just pick up and keep, macus do that too. And out of sudden, there was this stupid Cockroach which scared everyone including me .... -.- it's so drama when LIZ actually jumped on top of her Chair....Macus tried to catch it, but can't. so i saw a bag and use it and shouted !! Stop running and i caugh hold of it. seriously, i feel bad la.. don't know why.. it's a living thing after all. after work,

Finished at 7.30 and went off to see my daddy, alright i guess he's okie !! i serious hope everything would be fine, i only have him now and i can't afford to lose him. i'll work hard for you daddy. ! don't worry ! saw many NYP students there, please help me take care of him , thanks alot.

Erm after which went back to work again , met muneer and went back office to get things and went to red dots measeum packed some things and sort out name cards, which is ? erm fun playing with the cards? erm after which went home , and andrew came over to play dota for one match then went to eat at coffee shop, sorry if i everytime neevr reply msn, i feel sorry cos i went out, sorry yun fang. ! ya okie , hui xin was talking about this topic, cos i say i can't sleep,

>>> hui xin said, "aiyo, think what. think gf until cannot slp ah." alright ,i replied, i will never have a relationship. :( alright i guess so, i don wan to drag someone down and seriously how would girls come about likely a person like this." :( never mind , when some one that's willing to suffer all this with me , is the right one i'm waiting.

I'm coming up with this idea, to solve my current problem, it's a major one. It affects my life , my future and everything.

I'm feeling so lonely at home :(

Every minutes, i feel like ....

nobody can ever feel this way like i do.

Love Stories ... 11:31 AM