Saturday, October 20, 2007
Alright , blogging time. Now i have more phobia of girls. They have mood swings and changed so fast. Please control. everyone is stress and everyone is pissed. Don't thinkk that i am good and throw all your angers on me. I don't accept. Life's busy. LAst week monday, 15oct. Camp started and i decided to Pon cause i am not sure if this is the last camp for ... so i must not miss this event.
On monday we had water activity as tuesday we will not have any KI "kayaking instructor" so was playing around and the feeling is totally different from using a T1. first group that came was fine but second group make me damn angry and pissed !!... please , i know you are good but please don't over take people's positions , you have lot more to learn. i may not be very good but i have see more things than you. i can always lose you as a friend to let you learn. went into water, with second group. paddled around and came to a place to play some game on the kayaks. What, paddles all around the water and i was around to retrive it. It's not a funny matter. So decided to make them own me 50 push up which i don't really like people to be doing push ups. " the meaning behind it. when you lose your paddles when you are having fun , so when you are taking groups and having fun , one member go missing, you don't care? till you need that person to have full attandences?
On tuesday,morning went out to place all the rafting equipments at the specific location , i heard that it was all taken away by a uncle but lucky shannon manage to retrive it. had my Ut and went home to rest.
and wednesday my dad was discharged. i did not went to school
I went back to camp with wen jie.went to cck to take cab and in lot 1 i saw sister, kelly. reached camp side , rest awhile and had dinner. had night walk and was like Omg , we walked into a military when they are having trainings . the tanks are Huge and nice !! The officers are around to guard their training grounds so we contiuned our night walk while not disturbing their trainings.then the MRS , yanyi and chun kit was so stressed up for their camp fire, i wanted to help but some hwo i feel that i am not that good and seriously my confident level is going down because of all you guys !!! so decided to ask chun fu , or wen jie to help . After which Chun fu had the debrief with them , jia you ! you are "AT" now , i know you need ot care about what people thinks but also have that courage to do what is right.
On thursday went out in the morning for science UT and school after presenting , my faci allow me to leave, but i remember i am waiting for wilson so i decided to stay in class to wait. WTH in the end zhang mei and wilson both pang seh me ???? i waited so long and i was like a fucking fool going into camp so late and alone. NvM this only teach me something , don't ever trust anyone for own benefits are more important. went back and have dinner then prepared camp fire, i suddenly just feel that i am in the wrong place and everything is wrong for me , i shouldn't be going back to camp. i am a wondering ghost and everyone seems to see me as invi till they need me . and while having dinner , i am serious pissed la ! thats why i throw out everything that i have been storing. firstly i apologies for that sudden cut off of the conversation of you and students, now i will say why am i so angry . When having training camps, i helped abit in logs and see how you guys are doing, i know la i only have been once a logs, the rest have more experience , but somehow i still remember some of the things that we need to do as logs. i helped but some how you just aiya.... aiya.... heck cared, even moving the tables, come on la !!! it's shannon and not me alright i don't need to ren all your anger and please learn how to manage your angers and emotions. Shannon is the one making you angry so when i try to help and giving some comments , don't come and give me a bad face. when i am angry with someone else do i give you black face? then comes to either lunch or dinner i forget , when i asked if there is anythign not done, you again aiya.. like i am joking and not helping and you think i am nagging at you. come on la i see you as my friend then i decides to ask you those questions la , if you are someone else , i will go enjoy myself instead of going to the canteen to help...you walk off and lucky vanessa stayed to listen , do you know how i feel? it looks like i am a fucking lousy grads that no one wants to listens to. i know you guys are stress la, having so many things to do. but please ... control and work things out instead of complaining about anything. and from this lesson again i learn something ,Don't be KPO even it's friends, wait till they need help then they will seek help from you . and after you helped , don't KPO go and help the other things.
Suddenly i just realise why so many people are not going back HPT , simple , they don't get their repects and when they go back to contribute, no one appreciate only those that are doing great jobs and big things are appreciated. small small things counts alright . i guess i seriously don't feel like going back to HPt anymore. Although i love it and so memories are form there but sme how i am not appreciated. ='(
Friday went back to school study culture and talked about Mean Words, Exclusion, & Divisions, like how people actually Discriminate another. after which went to wait for Andrew to watch and support their floorball match. girls>> RP lost to Nyp, guys >> NYp Lost to Rp. .... 5-3 and andrew got red card for banging the board. ... lame .. lolx i was the target that they throw temper on again cos i'm from rp, lolx alright at least they are joking , they smiled... tat was good , cos he didn't complain all the way but also asked for comments on what he had done wrong and how he can improve, that was omg , great abd good. sometimes people outside are just better than Hpt in terms of thinkings. i think Hpt people need to grow up with their thinkings. don't grow only when there is a camp or what but in daily life , learn what are the correct values.
so today, saturday i wake up at 5 plus and went out to buy dinner for daddy and bet on soccer, small bet la, to support my favourite team MAN U !!! then went home changed and meet wee seng and nick to go meet the rest of the great friends , saw billy at esplande, our friendship had drifted... but i still feel that it's worth it cause that guy are not worth to be forgived. then went home after that. just finish playing dota so decided to blog. 12 min, MAN U ...lost 1-0 to aston i feel so sad but haha in the end won 4-1 !! alright , end here. sleeping .
4.49 am . sign off, good nites :)
take care friends.
Love Stories ...
12:55 PM
